


Sleep Alone

by lanaboo222



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom!Harry, M/M, Pornstar!Harry, Pornstars, Smut, Top!Harry, and i want to watch it, bottom!Louis, i'd watch it like a tv series, more smut in later chapters, pornstar!louis, they film porn, top!Louis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-16
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2017-12-20 08:07:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/884963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanaboo222/pseuds/lanaboo222
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is a pornstar who may of may not be in love with his colleague Harry Styles, who by the way hates him, and he may have been partnered to work with him for three days. Will secrets be revealed in their moments of nakedness? Well duh, or there would be no story, only smut (what a shame... not)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He remembers it as if it were yesterday, the feeling of intense loathing of himself and the world around him. He’s been low before sure but never that low. Kicked out by his mother, kicked out a week later by his supposedly best friend. He supposed he needed an income and quick and turned to the thing he thought would work. If being gay caused all of this mess, being gay would give him the income to find a place to live.  
It was this motive that got him into the industry. He was a hit, sure. But he still loathed himself and the world, coming home after a long day at the studio to scrub his body clean and he’d still feel dirty. Louis didn’t know why he even tried anymore, he’d lost himself months ago. Louis Tomlinson was now ‘that hot twink with the bum’ and that’s all he thought his life would be worth.  
Louis worked in a gay porn industry called ‘one erection’ it was a well-paid job for sure but he still questioned whether it was worth feeling like he was dirt on peoples shoes every time he left the house, he was terrified people would recognise him and judge him.  
He had a few colleagues that would work occasionally on set, but more often than not there would be guest stars, as some would say. Louis hated most of the pretentious bastards that came and went, quite literally and treated Louis as if he were just a prop. But then again, Louis almost was a prop. A prop in his life, a shadow of what he used to be before he’d came out to his family. He was alone in a world, so deep in his own shit and he wanted out. He only wished he were brave enough to end it.  
Now there was one person in his studios, one person he could connect to, a female pornstar by the name of Eleanor who was just as down in the dumps as he were, forced by society to be preyed on because her father could see potential in a good profit from her body. He’d pretty much sold her body for money.  
Louis and Eleanor were practically inseparable when they weren’t working. Anyone who didn’t know them would think they were dating, but no. Louis was way to beyond the rainbow to ever stray back to the rain. He just wished he’d find his leading man at the end of the rainbow, but with his luck he was more than likely to find an angry leprechaun ready to create hell.  
As Louis walked the two miles to the studio, collecting Eleanor from the Starbucks half way along his journey he thought how he’d managed to last a year in this dead end job, because as of today it had been a year since he’d walked into the building, had his interview and recorded his first successful video.   
“hey, Lou” Eleanor smiled, their usual smiles were dull, but around him there was a little more light, a little more life. Louis liked to think his did the same. Without Eleanor Louis wasn’t sure he’d have made it this far.  
“hey” he replied playing with the sleeves of his jumper, as Eleanor wrapped her arm around Louis’ waist. They walked in comfortable silence, Louis hand resting on Eleanor’s shoulder as she sighed deeply. As they made it to the car park.   
“they’ve got Niall, remember that Irish guy, yeah I’m working with him today” Eleanor spoke softly and Louis looked at her curiously. She didn’t even have a choice in this, he could walk out one day throwing his towel on the floor and say he’s had enough. She couldn’t, her dad made sure of that.  
“the one that tried to get them to agree to that whole ‘food fetish fun’ idea he had?” Louis asked  
“the very same” Eleanor nodded and Louis pondered his thoughts, from what he remembered Niall had been one of the few people who’d not called her anything degrading, not slapped her arse on the way out. In fact if he could remember correctly this was the boy who’d shaken her hand and said ‘thanks for doing business with me’ which a mouth full of food offering her a biscuit. Louis wouldn’t deny the fact he was extremely protective of her, he’d lost his sisters when he’d been thrown out and she was the next closest thing. He’d be damned to let anything happen to her.  
“Oh, he was the blond hyper one yeah?” Louis asked and Eleanor nodded  
“He was nice, still doesn’t mean I’m going to enjoy it” she pouted, they’d got to the level now where they’d joke about it in pretext of making it easier to process. It didn’t work but it made life slightly more bearable, if only a fraction.   
“lets just hope he leaves the food out of it this time, wouldn’t want you to be covered in gravy as he eats a steak off your tummy” he said poking Eleanor in the stomach who giggled quietly and hit Louis hand away  
“that’s just gross, Lou. Yet I wouldn’t put it past him” she rolled her eyes “Time for desert” she said in a awful mimic of an Irish accent that actually had Louis laughing, an odd occurrence that happened few and far between.   
They walked up the few steps at the front of the building arms still protectively around each other as they walked through the front door and into the reception that smelt almost too clinic like, Louis grimaced as he walked towards the front desk letting go of Eleanor as she looked over at the time table. She choked on her tongue as Louis grabbed a pen  
“what?” he asked turning to look at her  
“I’m scared to say it, you’re not going to like it” She shook her head and Louis frowned at her crossing his arms  
“what is it?” he asked making a step towards her she held up her hands and shook her head  
“stay there, any closer and I’ll be in target range” She said biting her lip. Louis was generally worried now. There was many things running through his head, he was to be put into his first group sex scene. He was shooting outside, Eleanor was shooting outside.   
“come on, tell me it can’t be that bad” he spoke curiously and she sighed running a hand down her face  
“You’re working with Harry Styles for the next three days” She said quickly and then ducked behind the door as Louis stared at the place she’d been. Harry Styles. Working with Harry Styles. It hit him hard.  
“what the fuck?” he shouted throwing his pen across the room watching it crack and fall to the floor in a pool of ink. Harry Styles was possibly Louis worst nightmare and possibly dream come true rolled into one impossibly beautiful human being with a hatred for Louis that he had no grounds for at all.  
“who the hell thought that would be a good fucking idea?” he shouted as Paul the director grinned sheepishly walking out of the door behind the reception looking guilty.  
“that’d be me” he said raising his hand. Louis watched his hand before moving into eye contact with the man, holding a steady glare  
“why?” he asked stiffly. A hint of a whine behind his statement.  
“I sense there could be a good film out of it, you’re both attractive guys and you’re both good workers” Paul walked off muttering something about ‘chemistry’ ‘fucking stupid kids’ ‘don’t see what’s in front of them’ and ‘tea’. Louis decided that’s exactly what he needed to calm his nerves and sighed looking over at the door where Eleanor was peering around it curiously.   
“I need tea” he groaned “you can come out you know” he added, she cautiously walked out from behind the door and towards him and for fun he smiled slightly to himself as he raised his hands quickly and jumped on the spot yelling ‘roar’ Eleanor jumped a little but hit his shoulder pouting  
“easy there tiger, save that growling for the prowling in the bedroom” came Harrys voice from behind him, Louis could hear the smirk in his voice and clenched his fists as Harry laughed at his own joke walking past Louis brushing up against him. There was absolutely no need, there was plenty of space between the desk and Louis. Louis seethed as harry turned back to face him with a wink and glanced at Eleanor, before turning around, his shoulders slumping slightly as if defeated. Harry Styles made no sense to Louis. Eleanor rolled her eyes and Louis glanced at her  
“what was that for?” Louis asked as they made to follow where Harry had disappeared.   
“you really don’t see it do you?” she sighed shaking her head and walking ahead of Louis who frowned and cocked his head  
“see what?” he shouted after her hurrying up to catch up to her  
“it doesn’t matter” she shook her head, Louis put his arm around Eleanor and pouted at her as they walked into the small kitchen room. Harry was stood leaning against the counter talking to Nick, one of the camera men. They both looked turned to look at Eleanor and Louis as they walked in and harry looked between Louis arm and Louis himself before sending Louis a cold look and turning back to Nick.  
Louis had his suspicions about Harry. It wasn’t unheard of for a straight guy to get into gay porn, it paid a lot better than het porn. Harry had been working at the same company as Louis for about three months now, and never had Louis actually seen Harry filming. They had different schedules and Louis hoped to avoid seeing Harry naked, he had problems enough without having a mental picture too, so he’d never seen how Harry connected to the other men he slept with. A thought that knotted at Louis stomach, although when it did he’d simply brush it away because no.  
He’d also caught Harry talking to Eleanor a few times, and each time Louis would walk in, Harry would give him a cold look and walk off leaving Louis to question a non-responsive yet smug looking Eleanor and get nothing but shrugs until he changed the subject. So yes, Louis had his suspicions that involved Harry being straight and in love with his best friend, there was no evidence on the contrary as of yet.  
Louis walked over to the kettle that was situated next to harry and filled it up in the sink putting it on the base and flicking the switch on. He walked over to the table in the corner and sat on it swinging his legs, eyes flicking between Nick and Harrys who’s were flicking between his and Eleanor’s. He frowned and sat on his hands as Eleanor walked over and sat on a chair. A loud noise in the corridor made them all jump and stop their odd eye war.  
The kettle was letting off a load of steam so Louis jumped from the table and walked to the cupboard pulling out his superman mug and he turned to Eleanor  
“want one?” she shrugged and nodded and he grabbed her ‘mickey mouse’ mug down. He sighed and looked at Harry and nick, he really despised Nick. He didn’t even have much of a reason to, he just truly hated the bloke. “what about you?” he asked  
“Nah, you’d probably poison it” Nick replies standing up and walking towards the door bring you’re little self to the usual studio in ten” Nick smirked, Louis glared at the back of his head. Louis was short and had small hands and feet and he was self-conscious of it, of course he was, it’d been the source of most of his bullied years before the gay rumour. He sighed before turning back to Harry who was already looking down at him with a concerned look  
“and you?” he asked  
“What about me?” harry asked snapping out of whatever trance he’d been in and Louis tried not to roll his eyes and put on a fame smile, one that he knew would look like a grimace, most of his smiles did and pointed to the kettle  
“tea?” he asked, Harrys mouth mouthed an ‘oh’ and he nodded  
“sure” he finished before looking away as Louis looked at the mugs in the cupboard  
“which one’s yours?” he asked  
“oh, um” harry blushed brilliantly and Louis wanted to poke his cheeks and squeeze them, shaking that thought from his head he raised an eyebrow at Harry “the pink one… with kittens” he said not looking Louis in the eye. Louis looked away from Harry into the cupboard and picked out a pink mug with kittens on it and he couldn’t help it, he giggled before throwing his hand over his mouth and hiding his giggles causing him to shake with silent laughs. Harry muttered and whined incoherently from next to him as Eleanor watched on fondly.   
Louis breathed in deeply and calmed himself down enough to put teabags and water in a mug, rubbing his ribs that haven’t been subdued to laughter in such a long time that Louis wondered if it was possible to suffer a heart attack after such a long time. His heart sure hurts.  
“I’ll leave you to do your own milk and sugar” he said to the others pouring milk into his own and walking back to the table taking a sip. Silence filled the room the odd slurp here and there. Louis watched as his feet swung back and forth van cladded feet slowly making a hypnotic movement. He finished his cup of tea and placed it beside him still watching his feet until a cough caught his attention  
“we should probably… get through there before Nick chops our cocks off” Harry said, the mention of cocks caused Louis suppressed nerves and thoughts to all come out at once, he’d hoped he’d never have to get so close to Harry because he’d always been one to easily attach onto people and with his already sentimental views towards Harry, well he was screwed both metaphorically and physically.   
“Lou?” Eleanor asked silently, Louis drew his lip into his mouth and looked up  
“See you later” he said jumping off the table and putting his mug in the sink, Harry walked towards the door and Louis followed until Eleanor’s arm on his stopped him leaving  
“Louis, what’s wrong?” she asked looking concerned  
“I’ll tell you later yeah?” he sighed  
“all of it, because what ever is on your mind is bothering you more than most things. I don’t like seeing you like this Lou” she sighed  
“everything, well good luck with Niall” Louis nodded walking out of the room to find Harry stood leaning against the wall staring with a frown at the adjacent one, he looked up at Louis and began to walk to the studio.  
“ah boys, great timing” Paul smiled from the bed where he was fluffing up a pillow. Louis glared at him, not having fully forgiven him for the torture they were about to go through.  
“that’s what I’m known for” Harry grinned. The three people in the room groaned as Harry grinned like he’d said the funniest thing ever, Louis shook his head as he tried to hide a fond smile. He wasn’t and couldn’t ever be fond of Harry Styles. Harry hated him.  
“so today will be the foreplay, the introduction and such, tomorrow will be the more extortion filled day” Paul said as Lou the stylist walked over to them snapping her fingers and pointing to their tops. Louis blushed lightly and grabbed his jumper pulling it over his body. She grabbed some powder and began applying it to Harrys face who was ducking down slightly so she could reach. He kept his eyes on his face, dreading the moment they’d be naked in front of each other and god forbid touching each other. Louis felt hot even thinking about it.  
Lou walked over to him and he pouted lightly when she could reach without him having to duck down. Paul was walking around looking at everything in the room, playing with the lighting and nodding to himself, Louis wasn’t looking forwards to this at all.  
“right boys, to start with I want Harry lying on the bed” Paul said pointing to the set that actually suited Harry well, photos and cut-outs were stuck on the walls and junk lined the makeshift shelves, books covered tables and Louis smiled at the ground. Lou patted his shoulder and he looked up taking the t-shirt she handed to him, he out it on without question. Looking down at the rolling stones logo.  
“Louis you’ll be Harrys friend come over to stay for the night, improvise on words during this. You’ll sit on the bed and pick up the controllers” he said pointing to the Xbox controllers on the floor “and act like you’re playing, Louis will win and Harry you have to pout and act upset. Louis you then have to go to console him and start kissing, yes?” he said, Both Harry and Louis nodded in understanding.  
“Harry, you then take off Louis shirt and then continue to blow him, okay?” once again they both nodded and Louis blushed slightly as Harry looked over at him.  
“Louis, you’ll be bottoming tomorrow” He added, Louis glared at his feet hearing Harry snigger from next to him. Louis turned and glared, met with a smirk and Harrys eyes not looking at Louis eyes, oh no. They were fixed on Louis bum. Louis huffed and smacked Harrys arm who’s smirk became larger as his eyes trailed up Louis body to his eyes causing Louis to have to hide a shudder. He really hated Harry fucking Styles. Yet somehow he felt he wouldn’t hate fucking harry styles as much as he pretends he would. He blames that on the fact that harry has an undeniable attractive body.  
“right, Harry bed now” Paul said clicking his finger at Nick to get ready with the cameras. Nick gave Paul and thumbs up as Harry dropped onto the bed his hand over his stomach staring at Louis. Louis gulped and was dragged by Lou over to the corner of the set where a fake door was located.  
“Harrys a great lad really, I know he doesn’t show it at work, he sort of tries to act all confident, but don’t let it fool you” she said running more powder over Louis face distractedly “he’s the sweetest most sensitive boy I know”  
“Why are you telling me this?” he asked in a whisper  
“because I see how reserved you are around him, you don’t want to be but you are. Trust me Louis I see a lot here and-“  
“come on Lou” Paul interrupted her, she raised her hands in surrender as Paul motioned Louis into the set. He walked in, giving a casual knock on the door as if he’d been going into a friends bedroom. Not that he had many of those.   
Harry looked up from the bed and smiled at Louis, it was almost believable. Louis returned it dropping down onto the bed beside Harry  
“hey” Louis said  
“hiya, glad you could make it” Harry answered nudging Louis, Louis tried not to laugh at how awkward this was, but then again what porn wasn’t?  
“so you want to play something?” Harry asked and Louis shrugged  
“sure, why not” they both leant down to get controllers and away from the camera they both let out silent snorts of laughter, catching each other’s eyes before sitting up, Louis was sure Harry was blushing but it may have been because Harry was just upside down getting the controller, must have been it. They sat and pretended to play on a game, some car game, Louis was just driving his car into Harry for about thirty seconds as Harry grew frustrated pushing Louis arm to make him stop, Louis grinned and smirked at Harry, almost as if the camera wasn’t on them. Paul was stood behind the game looking quite pleased for some reason. Louis pushed Harrys car off a bridge and harry whined  
“no, that’s not fair” he pouted at Louis, Louis snickered eyes flicking over Harrys face, Harrys annoyingly pretty face that he really wanted to kiss right now, Harrys face that was moaning about how Louis didn’t play fair and all Louis could think about was playing it dirty with Harry. Without thinking it through he pushed himself forward and collided chest against chest, hands gripping Harrys naked shoulders. Harry stopped mid-sentence staring at Louis, faces centimetres apart. Louis gave a shuddered breath as Harry gulped and he plunged forwards lips meeting Harrys, Harry gasped as Louis dug his fingers into his shoulders.  
Harry was respondent immediately their lips moving together as Harry pushed Louis down to lie on the bed, lips still locked together, and Louis could feel his heart tight in his chest, knowing that however much he wanted this, harry was only doing it for the job. With that thought he gribbed tighter at the same time Harrys hands gripped his waist tightly, they both gasped pulling out of the kiss slightly, panting heavily at the unexpected grips and Louis’ eyes opened to see Harry looking at him. Louis tried to look into Harrys eyes to see what he could see in them but Harry had reconnected their lips in a deeper kiss, his eyes now closed.  
Louis closed his eyes and his hands ran from Harrys shoulders to his hair faintly aware of the camera to his right getting a close up of their faces. Harrys tongue slid across his lips and Louis greeted it with his own hearing a muffled groan from Harry as Harry shifted on Louis lap causing Louis to swallow a moan because not only was Harry hard in his jeans and pressing it into Louis’ hip, but Louis was harder than he can ever remember being and he hadn’t even realised.  
Their tongues were messy and desperate and Louis threw his head back on the pillow at how intense it was all suddenly, breathing deeply as Harry began sucking down his neck grabbing the hem of Louis T-shirt and tugging it up. Louis sat up, coming chest to chest with Harry as his shirt was thrown across the makeshift room. Harry kissed Louis neck again before hovering over Louis ear  
“Lie down” Harry whispered, Louis did, watching as Harry ran a hand over Louis chest, leaning down to pepper it with kisses and licks. Louis’ heart was beating so fast, faster than any of other tomes he’d been in this situation.  
Harry looked up at Louis and Louis almost came on the spot, Harry looked so innocent and yet so ruggedly manly that it was an almost impossible mix, as Louis watched he pushed himself up until he was hovering over Louis face, a second later they were a mess of tongues and wondering hands. Harry’s hand found Louis jeans and as he palmed over Louis he let out a low moan as he bucked his hips into Harrys hand  
“and cut” Paul called out, Harry leant out of the kiss looking confused as Louis let out a high pitched whimper, Harry turned his head to look at Paul as Louis got onto his elbows, looking over Harrys shoulder, Louis was very aware or Harrys hand still over his cock.  
“why?” Harry asked his voice deep and Louis gulped not even trusting his own voice  
“well um, magazines and stuff to help” he said pointing at the porn magazines, Louis blinked at Paul before looking down at his crotch that was almost painful with Harrys hand just resting on top of it  
“i- um yeah I don’t think- don’t need” Harry swallowed and Louis still didn’t trust himself to speak. Nick raised his eyebrows because at least one of the two always needed a quick peak at magazines or watch porn or anything, Paul looked between them  
“to be fair Paul, after watching that I have a lady boner” Lou said smirking as Louis and Harry blushed, Harry squeezed his hand on Louis cock and Louis gasped into Harrys ear twitching slightly at the feeling, Harry looked smug as he looked at Louis out of the corner of his eyes.  
“right, well um… carry on?” Paul said pulling at his shirt awkwardly, harry turned back to Louis and pushed him back so he was lying down,   
He reattached their lips and rubbed at Louis crotch with his huge hand and Louis could possibly have been in heaven.  
“you really are tiny aren’t you” Harry whispered into his ear, the cameras were still rolling so Louis couldn’t respond as Harry undid Louis button on his jeans  
“are you as small down here as you are everywhere else?” he continued pulling Louis zip down. Louis’ mind was racing. Harry knew how much Louis was effected by his size, knew how paranoid and self-conscious it made him, he turned his head away from the camera in pretence of showing his neck off to harry  
“shut the fuck up” he hissed barely audibly, he knew however that harr had heard him because he gave a chuckle against Louis neck biting at the skin, he sat up and pulled at Louis jeans pulling them down to his feet, Louis shoved them off along with his shoes and harry ducked down to place kissed over Louis stomach hand running over Louis’ erection straining in his boxers. He watched as Harry licked his lips and then pulled Louis boxers off throwing them over by his t-shirt, and suddenly Louis was self conscious, more than he’d ever been before, what if harry thought his body was hideous, that he was too small, that his cock didn’t live up to anything. What if…   
Harry licked up his cock and Louis brain immediately went fuzzy as he watched Harry lick up his shaft again. Harrys massive hand held the base of Louis cock and well Louis had always though his dick was bigger than average, but harry really was making him question himself.  
Harry climbed up Louis so he was leaning over him “not bad” he whispered kissing Louis’ lips gently as he stroked his cock before sitting on Louis’ knees, straddling them as he lowered his mouth down on Louis cock lounge pressed against him and Louis moaned low in his throat throwing his head back into the pillow and grabbing Harrys hair with one hand and the sheets with another.   
Harrys mouth was sinful and all Louis had dreamed it was, and oh had Louis dreamed. It was the way his cheeks seemed to suck him in and his tongue, oh his tongue swirling and then pulling off Louis with a pop and the licking Louis head, and Louis felt like he was in paradise, only problem was Louis was getting hot and bothered and he was close and that couldn’t happen.   
He’d never cum early and now was not the time he wanted to, but Harry was deep throating him and Louis couldn’t watch for fear of losing it completely, he gripped the sheets tighter with a moan as Harry swirled his tongue over his tip and harry was pumping Louis cock as he sucked and Louis couldn’t take it, his whole body was hot, he felt ready to explode, without so much as a warning he sat up and pushed Harry off his dick grabbing he base tightly with him hand breathing erotically as Harry looked up at him from where Louis had pushed him onto the bed  
“cut, Louis what the hell?” Paul asked, Louis gulped and then groaned rubbing at his eyes with his free hand  
“we’ll give you two minutes too cool down, but seriously Louis, knuckle down yeah” Paul sighed walking over to the corner and throwing some water to Harry. Louis stared down at the sheets in embarrassment for himself. At least however he’d managed to not come, or they’d be in a whole other situation right now.  
“nick, change angle of the camera” Paul directed and Nick cleared his throat before moving the camera to the other side of the bed, Louis had yet to look up until harry was lifting his chin and holding the water by his lips, Louis gulped and sighed but too it and gulped a little down before handing it back to Harry who put the cap on and threw it back to Paul.  
“you alright to continue now, Tomlinson?” He asked, Louis flushed pink but nodded.   
“try and last for three or four minutes, then we want a come shot over Harrys chest. Then you’re to suck his dick” Paul said, Louis gulped and nodded. He could do that.  
He lay down on the bed and removed his hand from the base of his cock feeling a little calmer and less likely to explode at any minute. Nick signalled to Paul that the camera was rolling and Paul nodded to Harry who took Louis as far as he could with no other thought, sucking and swirling his tongue, Louis moaned and both hands found Harrys hair, gripping lightly as if trying to keep himself on the bed and not drift off into heaven where his brain seemed to think he was.  
He began counting in his head, already feeling himself getting closer and Harrys hand found his balls cupping and massaging them gently in his hand ’96, 97,98’ Harry started to lick at his head again, twirling just the tip of Louis in his mouth and Louis insides were screaming for release but he kept it in, forced himself to stay calm, moans filling the silence of the room. ‘143,144,145’ Harry then deep throated him again and Louis moaned loudly he could do this, he could last for 30 more seconds.   
Harry hummed and pulled off Louis, licking up his shaft and pumping Louis with his hand before deapthroating him once more and Louis was feeling stars, he’d lost track of time but he felt now was as good time as any so he squeezed Harrys shoulders and Harry pulled off looking up at him, Louis pushed him and rolled them so Louis was straddling Harry where Harry grabbed Louis cock and pumped him a few times until Louis was spilling come hot and wet as his body shook with the intensity of it all, he dropped his face into Harrys neck moaning low as he stopped Cumming and Harry slowed down his wrist movement.  
Louis shakily lifted himself and attached his lips to Harrys who kissed back almost urgently and Louis undid Harrys button and zip before pulling back from Harry and pulling his jeans off of him surprised to find Harry with no boxers on, just totally commando, Louis blinked before getting onto Harrys lap and kissing him once more, tongues swirling as he pumped Harry once, twice and Harry was already moaning lightly.  
He pulled back from Harry and slowly shifted down Harrys body until his bottom lip was trailing over Harrys cock and Harrys hips were having difficulty staying against the bed, Louis licked a strip up his cock and Louis dropped his head down hollowing out his cheeks and bobbing his head over Harrys cock tasting, licking and sucking. Harrys moans filled the room and Louis hummed in appreciation around his cock and Louis was already getting hard again, it wasn’t even five minutes since he’d come and Harrys noises, taste and the look on his face was all a little too much. Harry looked down at Louis to see he was watching and Harry tensed up beneath him pulling Louis off his cock as he came all over his stomach, body convulsing each time he came.  
Louis pumped him through it, teeth caught in his lip as he watched Harry collapse sedated onto the bed, Louis let go of his cock and crawled up over him and pressed his lips to Harrys who lazily kissed him back until Paul cleared his throat “and… um cut” he said.   
Nick turned off the camera as Louis pulled off Harry and rolled off him to sit on the bed heart racing, skin flushed and sweat lining his skin.  
“that was fucking hot, excuse me” Nick said before rushing out of them room and closing the door behind him as Lou walked over handing them robes and a towel which they both took and Louis slipped his on as Paul smiled in an almost knowing way.  
“what?” Harry and Louis said in unison, blushing slightly as they caught each other’s eyes  
“nothing, now why don’t you go and shower, you’ve been excellent today, Louis I’m going to need you to prep yourself tonight” Paul said before grabbing the script and walking out of the room with a skip in his step. Louis fell back against the bed with exhaustion, next to harry, shoulders touching.  
“some water for you two” She handed them a bottle of water each which they gladly accepted, “I think this is maybe going to be the best thing either of you have shot, you’ve got a good connection” she smiled, Harry snorted before sitting up and sliding out of the bed muttering  
“yeah connection” with a snort, Louis frowned and watched him leave  
“like I said, work brings out the worst in him’” she sighed  
“Well I’m going for a shower” Louis said awkwardly slipping out of the bed and grabbing his own clothes before walking towards the toilets. One of the showers was already running meaning Harry was already in it. Louis went to the one furthest from Harry’s and turned it on.  
“Louis?” harry asked  
“yeah” Louis sighed as the cool water hit his skin  
“just some helpful tips, be louder, it’s like you’re keeping your nooses in, people like to hear you moan” Harry said, Louis frowned because ew, he hated his voice, why would people want to hear that?  
“mhmm” he said frowning at the wall because he didn’t really want advice from Harry, it was like he’d not enjoyed himself at all, that it really was all for the camera.  
“try and control yourself, think of things to stop getting to the point of no return” he continued and Louis deflated a little more  
“uh huh” he gulped grabbing the soap and lathering him up  
“also-“ harry continued  
“can we like go over this in the morning or something, I’m just a little tired” Louis lied, he didn’t want to know what he’d done wrong, didn’t want to know that he wasn’t good enough for Harry. He rinsed off the soap and turned off his water  
“sure, just trying to help though” Harry continued, Louis grabbed his towel and began to dry himself and get changed.  
“okay” he said walking out of the shower cubicle and looking in the slightly steamed mirror, maybe he wasn’t even cut out for a job like this either, maybe he just wasn’t cut out for life anymore.  
“lets just hope you can last longer tomorrow” Harry whispered into his ear as he walked past leaving with a smack of Louis bum and suddenly Louis world felt like it may have been crumbling down even more than usual. He looked down at the sink and gripped it tightly. He looked at himself in the mirror, and never had he felt so truly disgusted in himself. He walked to the door and slid out keeping his eyes to the floor and he walked through the corridor towards the reception not daring to look up. He could hear Eleanor calling him from the kitchen as he walked past. He looked up to see her standing up from the kitchen table and grabbing her bag.   
By the sink leaning on the counter looking at his phone was Harry. Louis grabbed Eleanor’s wrist and pulled her out of the room quickly, feeling Harrys stare until he turned the corner. Eleanor stayed silent to which Louis was glad. His eyes were burning and he wasn’t sure he could keep tears in any longer. He’d kept them in for almost a year now.  
He walked out of the doors and was met with heavy rain. He looked up at the sky rain soaking his face and running down his neck, and he was almost glad to see the rain, because his tears were now mixing with it. They walked quickly along the streets towards Louis flat, Eleanor watching him with a worried frown.  
“What did he say?” She asked as they closed the door shutting the rain out of the building and walking to the stairs, Louis shook his head, his jaw tensed, eyes burning and Eleanor rubbed her thumb over Louis wrist as they climbed the stairs.   
The closer to the flat they got the more Louis shrunk in on himself until he reached it and tried to put the key in the lock, only he was shaking so hard that he couldn’t even do that right. Eleanor gently took it from him and unlocked the door, Louis fell through the door and that’s where he lost it, collapsing to the floor in a mess of limps heaving and sobbing because there was no doubt. Louis was fucked, and in no way was it in a good way. He’s fallen for someone who wasn’t ever going to go for a person like him, he was a mess. Eleanor closed the door behind her and sat down next to him pulling his head onto her lap stroking his damp fringe from his eyes.  
She sighed and continued as Louis sobbed into her knee loud and painful. She spoke soft words like he’d done to her many a time before and waited until he’d calmed down enough to at least make it onto the sofa, curling into himself.  
“what happened, hon?” she asked.  
“i-I’m such a-an idiot” he cried burying his face into his knees and wrapping his arms around them tightly “I-I’ve never hated – never hated Harry – never”  
“I had suspicions” she whispered “what did he do?”  
“we f-followed the instructions but “ he hiccupped and sniffed “but it didn’t feel like we were it felt natural, I m- I mean we didn’t even need material, y’know” he continued, Eleanor looked at him with wide eyes  
“did he say something?” Eleanor asked and Louis nodded turning his head to look at her, she looked torn, and Louis felt empty.  
“he said I- was t-tiny and h-he knows that’s a a thing for m-me a-and then listed all the stuff that i-I’d messed up on a-and then he slapped –he – he” Louis sobbed again burying his hands into his knees  
“he slapped your bum” Eleanor sighed, Louis nodded into his knees  
“right, time for the ice cream and grease. And I’m staying over no matter what you say, you’ve done so much for me and now it’s my turn to repay you” she said pulling Louis into an awkward half hug.  
“that sounds perfect” Louis whimpered and sniffed into her shoulder. A tub of ice cream, and a hot chocolate later found Louis curled on half the sofa, his brain spinning and Eleanor asleep on the other half, light breathing filling the room. He was just glad he wasn’t alone to have done anything stupid. Because after all Louis sleeps with people for a living but he’s truly tired of sleeping alone.  
He finally managed to fall asleep at half five, the sun was already up silent laughter of the day to come suffocated him into slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

Louis awoke the next morning being shook by petite hands, he groaned and rolled onto his side, eyes heavy and head thumping. He’d never felt quite as bad emotionally as he did now, the last year had seemed like a bad dream and now it’d turned into a nightmare.

“Louis, hon. we have work in half an hour,” Eleanor whispered and Louis shot up quickly because however much he didn’t want to go to work, however much he was dreading seeing Harry again, he really needed the money.

“Shit” He hissed standing up and running through to the shower, he smelt awful and a shower was sure to wake him up. He needed all the energy possible for the day if they were to be having sex. And then the thought hit him. He’d been too busy moping in self pity that he’d forgotten to even prep himself and it was far to late to try it here, he needed to cut down his tea break and go to the showers and do it there because otherwise he’d be in trouble with everyone there and he was having a hard enough time of it anyways.

He pushed himself out of the shower, tying a towel around his waist and slumped into his bedroom throwing open his wardrobe and grabbed the first jumper he could and a pair of jeans before slipping them on and meeting Eleanor who’d thrown on one of Louis’ jumpers and her jeans.

“Come on, you’ll be fine. Ignore him he’s not worth it” she said running her hand through his hair trying to make it lie flat.

“I’ll try” He said grabbing his phone and wallet off the side and his keys from the floor where he’d most likely dropped them and the two of them made their way out of the flat, dread slowly filling Louis with every step he took.

“Louis calm down, you look so tense” Eleanor whispered sadly and Louis glared at her, she sighed and looked to the floor.

“I think he broke my heart” He swallowed, breathing in deeply “And it’s not like I can pretend nothing happened because in half an hour Eleanor, I’ll have his dick in me and it doesn’t means anything” His voice failed on the last word and Eleanor jumped into him wrapping her arms around him as he gritted his teeth as not to cry. He could be strong. He’d been strong his whole life.

They reached the studio and walked up the steps into the reception room where they were met with Niall seemingly threatening a man who looked ready to punch him.  
“Everything alright?” Louis asked as they both looked over at him

“ask Max here, he seemed to think it would be a good idea to come in here pretending to work here to get an easy shag” Niall growled as the guy looked Eleanor up and down with a smug smile.

“They’re all gagging for it anyways, what about you babe, bet you’re gagging for-“ He didn’t get to finish his crude words towards Eleanor before Louis was flying towards him shoving him into the wall dodging the mans flying limbs,

“say that again, I dare you” Louis growled, eyes locked onto the mans who’d gone rather subdued in Louis’ grasp, “Not so fucking mouthy now are you, get the fuck out of here and don’t come back” Louis sneered pushing him to the door and out of it.

“Fucking fags” Max hissed before hurrying away.

“Wow, Louis that was fucking amazing” Niall grinned; Louis looked back to him and gave him the best smile he could manage before pulling Eleanors arm through to the kitchen.

“Louis, that was a bit too far, I know you were only protecting us but what if he’d have fought back?” Eleanor asked

“I’d have taken what he threw and gave back twice as hard, know why? Because you’re the closest thing to a family I have Eleanor and no-one, absolutely no-one talks shit about my family.” Louis said walking into the kitchen.

“But fighting isn’t the answer Louis” She said exasperatedly, Harry looked up from where he was leaning on the counter

“I don’t care Eleanor, he shouldn’t have been a fucking dick, I have enough of those in my life” He glared at the wall as Harry snickered

“What?” Louis growled head snapping to him, eyes flickering with hurt, hatred and maybe a little love too.

“Sorry, dicks, porn… yeah?” He said. Louis blinked at him blankly before turning back to Eleanor

“All I’m saying El is that no one can speak to you like that. He treated you like you were a bit of meat. I can’t fucking stand someone who doesn’t have any respect for other people around them, you know this” He said, and yes maybe he was trying to make a dig at Harry in the process and Eleanor sighed and rubbed at her eyes, she looked tired Louis finally noted, and it was his fault.

“Louis, I love you, you know that. But I don’t support violence no matter what!” She sighed “I’m going to go and find Paul and tell him to look out for Max or whatever” she said spinning around and walking out of the door. Louis glared at the door she walked out of and then kicked the table leg regretting it immediately as his foot began to ache.

“Trouble in paradise?” Harry asked, Louis jumped forgetting he’d been there watching the scene. Louis turned around to see Harry looking him up and down. Louis rubbed his eyes and walked to the kettle turning it on and ignoring Harrys comment, not fully understanding him.

“My god Louis, you look like crap” A voice spoke out behind them and Louis looked up to see Lou walking over to him, placing her hand on Louis’ forehead.

“‘m’fine” Louis muttered his throat hoarse from crying all night and shouting with Eleanor. Lou ran her finger under Louis eyes and frowned,

“Did you sleep at all last night?” She asked. Louis shrugged and looked down. Lou grabbed Louis arm and pulled him towards the hallway, Louis staring longingly at the boiling kettle until it was out of sight.

He found himself sat in what appeared to be a small closet full of towels and mops. He looked around as Lou pointed at an upturned bucket

“Welcome to my office” She said, Louis blinked but sat down on the bucket slowly and carefully not sure if it would take his weight or not.

“Listen, I know we’re not exactly friends, I like you though and it’s sad to see you looking so low. If there is anything I can help with at all?” She asked

“There’s nothing wrong” Louis lied, he didn’t feel like talking about this with someone he didn’t know much about. Sure she did his make up and gave him clothes but he didn’t know her well enough to share his secrets with, and sure they’d had friendly conversations occasionally but they’d never spoken outside of work before.

“Something is troubling you more than usual and don’t give me that look, I see the way you look when you think no-ones around, you loose your fake smile and you look completely done. I don’t like seeing you like this Louis, I know we haven’t talked much but I want you to know that I’m here to talk if you want it. To be a friend, yeah?”

“um, yeah” Louis said with a small smile, fake of course, before standing up with a sigh

“look I have to go, but thanks” he said walking out of the closet and into the small shower room next door.

He sighed to himself as he grabbed one of the many tubes of lube and walked into one of the cubicles.

He sank to the floor on his knees and breathed in deeply before undoing his zip and pulling his jeans down to his thighs followed by his boxers. He uncapped the bottle of lube and poured some on his fingers before positioning himself into an easier angle his bum in the air as he pushed a finger in him.

The thrill had been lost after the first week in the job, sex was now a lifestyle not a leisure, he didn’t find it as appealing as he had before he started. Sure sex was great, but it never meant anything and Louis was rather sentimental really. He wanted to have sex where it meant something. He wanted to feel loved.

He added a second finger and began to move them in and out, he frowned into the crease of his elbow because he could do this now without getting hard.

He added in a third finger and began to scissor them until he felt that he were ready and pulled his fingers out sinking to the floor and letting out a shuddery breath.  
Things were never easy, and he knew that. He’d known that going into porn might render the rest of his life useless because who’d want to hire the twink from the porn sights who took cock so well. No one would ever hire him. He knew that. He’d pretty much thrown his life away when he’d signed the contract.

Louis sat up and ran a hand down his face in frustration surprised to find his cheeks damp before standing up and pulling his boxers and jeans up.

He unlocked the cubicle and threw the lube back into the pile with the others and walked over to the sink, eyes drifting to his reflection. He really did look awful. He was paler than usual, his eyes were dull, red and glassy and his hair was floppy. He washed his hands before rushing out of the room and into the studio where Paul, Lou, Nick and Harry all looked over at him.

“You’re late” Paul said and Louis slumped biting his lip, Louis nodded dumbly before a hand on his arm made him look to his left

“Come here” Lou said as she began pulling him over to the make up station. He sat on the stool and looked at her as she picked up the concealer and began blending it under his eyes. She put some powder over his cheeks and nose and then put some gel into his hair.

“Done?” Paul asked and Lou nodded. Louis stood up and walked over to Paul who sent him a soft smile

“sorry I was late” He muttered

“No problem, we’ll start right away shall we, if you take your clothes off, you too Harry” he said. Louis nodded and pulled his shirt over his head, deliberately avoiding   
Harry’s gaze and pulled his trousers and boxers down.

“Louis lay down on the bed and Harry we want you to lean over him” Paul said. Louis climbed onto the bed and pushed himself up to the cushions in the same place as yesterday. He looked over at Lou who was sending him a sympathetic smile and he looked away to see Nick looking smugly at him. He really didn’t like Nick. He’d taken against him when Nick had locked him in the closet containing all the lube, and he’d returned the next morning and let Louis out while laughing at Louis’ distress.

“Right Harry, on top of him please” Paul said and Harry smirked

“Don’t need to ask me twice” Harry chuckled

“Pretentious twat” Louis muttered as Harry sent him a confused and hurt look before climbing onto the bed and putting both his legs either side of Louis before leaning down over him, keeping his weight off of him. Louis looked to a spot over Harrys shoulder as Harry ran his finger under Louis eyes. Louis looked at Harry and regretted it instantly. Because why the hell did he love this dick? Who’s eyes seemed to stare into the very soul of anything like he could read everything that was happening. He looked away as Paul counted down from five. 

Louis gulped and closed his eyes as Paul reached one and Harry’s lips met his. Yet Louis couldn’t do anything but lie there and try not to cry, because this was really going to happen and he wasn’t sure he could cope with the degrading feeling this would leave, the feeling of inadequacy and pure hatred of what he’d become. 

He could feel Harrys confusion at not getting anything out of Louis and Louis flinched as Harry ran a hand down his cheek, squeezing his eyes shut because no matter what, this would mean something to him, however much he’d pretend it didn’t and to Harry it meant nothing.

“Cut” Paul sighed and Louis felt Harry pull away from Louis but by mere centimetres if the breath drifting onto his lips was anything to go by. He opened his eyes and was met with a look of concern from Harry. Louis gritted his teeth because Harry was not allowed to be concerned. He was the cause of all of this. Louis closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He hated Harry Styles. He hated that no matter what he still loved the arsehole.

“Louis, if you need to take today off or anything we’ll reschedule for tomo-“

“No” Louis cut him off opening his eyes to see Lou and Paul exchange a look.

“Louis” Harry whispered looking confused. Louis was fed up of him, so fucking done with Harry styles and with his shitty fucking life that he figured what the hell, why not be treated like shit by Harry Styles and at least be able to say he’d slept with someone he loved even if feelings weren’t mutual.

“I’m fine, okay. Lets just get this over with” He sighed, Harry blinked and looked over at Paul who nodded and motioned for them to begin.

“Just remember what I said yesterday yeah” Harry said as he tucked a strand of Louis fringe behind his ear, Louis raised an eyebrow and looked Harry straight in the eyes hoping that Harry would only see a blank look and not the hurt that was flooding back into his chest at the memory.

“shut up and get on with it” he said, Harry sighed and lent back into Louis and oh how Louis was going to make Harry see what he could really do. He wasn’t going to   
hold back, oh no. Fuck Harry fucking Styles.

He met Harry half way, which seemed to surprise Harry slightly as he gripped onto Louis biceps but relaxed as Louis moved his lips against his. Louis ran his hands up Harrys sides causing Harry to bite Louis lip who let out a low growl as he pushed closer into Harry in an almost bruising kiss as he ran his hands into Harrys hair and gripped it in his fingers pulling slightly earning a muffled moan from Harry who was kissing back just as vigorously.

Harry grabbed Louis’ thighs pushing them up so Louis feet laid flat on the bed. Louis pulled Harrys hair again as he pushed his tongue into Harrys mouth, Harry gasped and kneaded Louis’ bum who let out a shocked groan and wrapped his legs around Harrys waist pulling him further into him as his tongue continued to swirl with Harrys in a messy kiss, their breaths heavy falling from their noses and Louis could feel Harry getting hard on him. He ran his hands down Harrys back digging his fingers into his skin as he did before pulling Harry even closer and breaking the kiss to throw his head back and take a deep breath as Harry kissed his way along Louis neck breath ragged and dick hard against Louis half hard one.

Harry rutted into him and Louis’ breath caught and he pulled Harry in closer with his legs causing Harry to arch his back as their cocks brushed together. Louis opened his eyes as he caught his breath and met Harrys that looked to be challenging him. Well bring it on.

Louis grabbed Harry’s hair and pushed his head to the side making sure to pull on it a little and he felt his dick twitch at the moan Harry made. He attached his mouth to Harrys pulse point and sucked and kissed up and down the vain until Harry groaned and pushed Louis down onto the bed one hand finding Louis bum where he squeezed it causing Louis to moan. He cursed himself because no way was Harry going to bloody well make him look like a little bitch.

He felt Harrys hand find his hole and shuddered as Harry pushed himself off of Louis and propped himself up on one strong arm as his finger ran round Louis opening. He smirked and pushed himself down the bed until his head was nestled between Louis’ thighs and Louis pushed himself up on his elbows watching as Harry licked Louis’ hole. Louis gasped and moaned throwing his head back onto the pillow, his back arching with the sudden feeling.

“Cut” Paul said and Louis groaned at Harry pulled away looking confused over at Paul.

“Dude, no! Don’t just cut when it gets to the good part, that was so hot, he has to do that, I didn’t know I needed that until boom it happened. Stopping it there, well it’s worse than when you’re watching porn and it starts buffering. You’re a bufferer Paul” Nick said pointing at Paul accusingly.

“No, I’m not stopping this, I just want you to set up a second camera” he said. Louis felt exposed now, he always forgot there were other people in the room until they spoke and he always felt uneasy lying there naked to all their eyes as the others did things around him. Harry sat back on his heels and watched as Nick quickly started setting up a new camera. Lou had left the room so Louis felt a little better. Not much though.

“Well that was hot” Nick said as he began setting the other camera up on the opposite side of them angling it towards Louis’ bum. Louis bit his lip and looked away and began to fiddle with the sheets below his hand.

“Just as you were lads” Paul said walking over to a chair and sitting down, Nick wondered over to the other camera and Harry bent over once more as Louis released the sheets and prepared himself for what was about to happen

His breath still hitched as Harrys tongue swirled over his hole and his hands gripped the sheets again as he squeezed his eyes shut.

Harry continued to lick at his hole spreading his cheeks with his hand as Louis arched his back, Harry moaned as his tongue took in Louis,

Harry traced his finger along side his tongue which appeared to already have lube on it, Harry had obviously done this so many times that he’d managed to perfect getting lube on him with out trying, Louis’ breath hitched as Harry placed his finger inside him twisting it and causing Louis to moan into the pillow.

Harry pulled his face away as he placed another finger into Louis and Louis gasped and rocked his hips back onto his fingers, hating himself with each passing second, but Harry had really long fingers and they felt really good.

Louis groaned as Harry pulled his fingers out and leant up over Louis holding himself up with his arm once more, leaning down and taking Louis’ mouth with his, tongue meeting Louis’. Louis’ hands found Harrys back and he pressed his nails in pulling Harry in closer to him leaving red lines where his nails dug into Harrys skin, Harrys breath stuttered into the kiss as Harry pulled away, cock lined up with Louis. Louis gasped as Harry grabbed his cock and gave it a few pulls. 

Louis was getting fed up now, wanted Harry to stick it in him and get it over with, the longer this lasted the worse he was feeling and so he lifted his hips up and Harrys dick lined up in Louis’ crack, Harry moved his hips a little, dick running through his crack. Harrys breath cracked and he grabbed Louis’ hips roughly and turned Louis over so his bum was facing Harry. 

Harry ran his hand over it as Louis turned his face from the pillow and watched Harry over his shoulder.

Harry caught his eye and grabbed his dick tapping it against Louis’ hole as he squeezed his bum with his free hand, which then trailed up Louis back and grabbed his shoulder making Harry lean over him slightly. Louis lifted his hips up off the bed and felt Harrys cock line up with his bum. It was time. He gulped miserably, keeping his face indifferent as he felt Harry lean in, chest flush with Louis’ back.  
Then he pushed in.

Louis closed his eyes, not wanting to look at Harry. He could feel Harry getting deeper within him. Harry was then flush with him, bottomed out and his head was by Louis, breath hitting Louis’ neck. He hid a shiver as Harry pulled out and thrusted back in producing an involuntary moan from Louis who buried his head into his shoulder

He could feel Harry kissing his neck gently as he continued to thrust in and out of Louis, Louis squeezed his eyes shut as if pretending this was just another stranger would help. It didn’t. With a sigh he turned his head to meet Harrys gaze, Harry lunged his face forward meeting Louis with a needy kiss and his hands gripped Louis’ shoulders for support, Louis moaned into Harrys mouth as Harry sharply thrusted into him and Louis could almost feel Harrys muscles working above him.

Harry pulled away from Louis and pulled out of him turning Louis onto his back. Louis almost sighed as his muscles cold relax and Harry pushed his knees up and hooked Louis’ legs over his shoulders and he lent forward hands landing either side of Louis’ head as he pushed into Louis again, eyes staring straight at Louis. He wanted to look away, close his eyes, do anything. But he couldn’t seem to, so as Harry began to thrust into him eyes still locked onto his own Louis wanted to cry. 

He wanted to slap Harry out of it, tell him to make things easy on him. But life wasn’t that easy. Harrys thrusts became harder and deeper but his gaze didn’t falter not even as he leant into Louis and kissed him softly, a gentle touch of lips that seemed to just linger as he pulled back to look at him. Louis honestly wanted to die in that moment because Harry was very good at acting for the cameras; he wondered how many people before him had got the same treatment.

Harrys brow was furrowing and his thrusts were a little off, his thighs were shaking slightly and he was biting his lip hard

“cut” Paul spoke. Harry pulled out of Louis immediately and grabbed the bas of his cock breathing heavily, Louis blinked and looked at Nick and Paul

“What is up with you two coming early?” Paul groaned “Right Louis, once Curly here has got himself under control, I want you to spin the two of you around and ride him, I’m liking what we’ve got so far though I don’t know if we’ll have to shoot anything tomorrow” He said, Louis nodded and looked at Harry who was flushing and still biting his lip as he watched the bed sheet obviously embarrassed about almost coming too soon

“Harry you alright to continue?” Paul asked wiping a cloth over a camera Nick was setting up on the other side. Harry looked up and caught Louis eye before looking at Paul

“one minute” He said breathily

“It’s not like you, Harry”

“I don’t blame the guy, I mean have you seen Tomlinsons bum?” Nick asked. Louis feeling suddenly very exposed closed his legs and looked down at the bed, Paul chuckled.

“Right” Harry spoke “I think I’m good now”

“Excellent, get back into position then” Paul said as Nick turned on the cameras and walked around them. Harry got onto his knees and stroked his dick once as e grabbed Louis’ knees gently placing them over his shoulders once more. Louis looked back up at him as Harry lined his cock at Louis’ hole once more, slowly pushing it into Louis

“You okay?” Harry whispered bracing his hands once more on Louis’ shoulders, Louis didn’t trust his voice but he nodded and Harry began to thrust in and out of Louis, causing small ‘uh’s and oof’s’ to fall from Louis lips with each thrust. Louis ran his hands down Harrys sides and grabbed his bum pulling him further in causing his dick to thrust deeply into Louis. They both moaned and Louis drove his face into Harry’s neck as he urged Harry to thrust again.

There was no denying it, Harry felt good inside him, so big and well, just the fact he knew it was Harrys helped. He tightened his hold on Harrys bum causing him to halt his thrusts into him and Louis felt a burst of Pleasure feeling how deep Harry was inside him, instead he rolled them until he was lying on top of Harry, his dick still deep inside him.

“Hmmm” Harry moaned as Louis ground little circles astride him, feeling heat engulf him, thighs shaking a little, he drew his hands out from beneath Harry and instead placed them on Harrys shoulders leaning forward into him as Harrys hands gripped Louis’ bum.

Louis lifted himself off using Harry’s shoulders as leverage and dropped back down feeling his muscles tense and pleasure ripple inside him but he refused to come just yet, it would ruin the scene. He bounced a few more times trying to drown out Harry’s moans, which really weren’t helping his situation. He closed his eyes and buried his head into Harry’s neck as he lifted himself and dropped down, He felt his orgasm approaching quickly, and squeezed his eyes and hands to ward it off but he also tightened around Harrys cock because he moaned loudly breath hitting Louis ear. Louis sat up and pulled off Harry in a swift movement grabbing his cock

“Shit, fuck” He muttered

“Cut” Paul groaned as Louis squeezed his eyes shut and the base of his cock hard, he could feel himself shaking and the ripples of pleasure were slowly fading

“Boys” Paul groaned, “What is up with this?”

“Sorry” Louis whispered looking at the bed sheets, he felt a hand gently stroke his thigh and looked at it to see Harry giving him an encouraging smile. He looked away again, breath coming back to normal and orgasm not too close anymore.

“Ready?” Paul sighed, Louis nodded and took a deep breath before crawling over Harry and avoiding looking directly at him as he reached behind him and grabbed Harrys cock slowly sinking himself onto it once more.

“Just both of you hold off coming for a couple of minutes please” Paul rolled his eyes Louis looked at Harry who was watching him curiously, Louis put his hands back on Harrys shoulders as Harrys made their way back to Louis’ bum. Louis lowered his head to where it had been buried previously and began to lift his hips and slowly drop down, Harry helping him by lifting him up, He picked up speed and soon Harry was lifting his hips up in time with Louis, he bit Harrys neck causing Harry to gasp and thrust up sharply, Louis moaned and started kissing and biting where he could along Harrys neck, tasting Harrys burning skin. Harry turned his head making their lips meet and he kissed Louis hungrily, his tongue finding Louis’.

Harry broke off as he squeezed Louis bum, Louis still lifting himself off and dropping back down, heat travelling in ripples up his spine and making his fingers tingle

“Can’t hold off any longer” Harry groaned lifting Louis off him and turning them over in a swift movement, Louis bit his lip as he watched Harry grab his dick and watched as he flicked his wrist a couple of times before coming over Louis’ stomach and dick, Louis looked up at Harry to see his cheeks flushed and his arm holding himself above Louis shaking, Louis grabbed hold of himself and pumped himself watching as Harrys breath returned and Harry opened his eyes leaning down to bite Louis neck, kissing along the vain, Louis tensed as he felt his orgasm take over and he came with an arch of his back and gripped Harrys back with his free hand so hard that more red marks were left.

Harry leant back ad looked down a Louis as he let his dick go, still shuddering from the intensity of his orgasm and he let out a shaky breath as Harry leant down and Kissed him gently, hand cupping Louis’ cheek

“And cut” Paul said. Harry pulled away slowly, eyes still locked onto Louis

“Fuck, I need a good wank” Nick said, Harry and Louis both looked over at him to see him hurry out of the room

“That was great lads, really, now go clean up and have a day off tomorrow, you both deserve it” he said stretching his arms above his head and walking off out of the room. Harry got off of Louis slowly and stretched out his back. He got off the bed and walked to the side of the room where two dressing gowns lay, he picked one up as Louis sat up, eyes still trained on him. Harry picked up the other, threw it to Louis who caught it wordlessly.

He finally stopped looking at Harry and put the robe on, shimmying off the bed and getting up on shaky legs.

He stretched his back, his bum feeling a little sour like normal. He looked up to see Harry watching him from the door. Louis walked over towards him, it was tense, it was awkward and Louis had no idea how to make it any different. Harry opened the door and walked out, keeping it open for Louis

“Thanks” Louis muttered

“Are you always this down after a take?” Harry asked

“I’m always down full stop” Louis rolled his eyes

“No you’re not, you always come in with Eleanor looking all happy” Harry muttered as they walked towards the showers.

“Sure, whatever” Louis rolled his eyes knowing Harry was just trying to pull at his nerves and not wanting to rise to it. He was tired, sad and just wanted to lie in bed and sleep forever. They walked into the showers and Louis grabbed a towel and walked straight into one of the cubicles, turning the water off before sliding down the wall and running his hands down his face.

“Did a better job today than yesterday though” Harry said slowly, quietly

“Just – just don’t” Louis spoke as he felt his eyes start to sting; he felt disgusting, used and small.

“What? Don’t what?” Harry asked, Louis grabbed the soap and scrubbed his skin hard leaving red marks along his skin

“Why were you and Eleanor fighting this morning? Lovers quarrel?” Harry asked

“Lovers what?” Louis blinked, shaking his head and scrubbing his skin harder

“You were all up in each others space, supposed you’d had a bad night in with her” Harry continued

“I had a bad night in due to other reasons not to do with her” Louis frowned wondering why Harry even cared

“Is it weird?” Harry asked quietly

“Is what weird?” Louis blinked

“Knowing your girls getting screwed by other dudes every day?” Harry asked

“My girl” Louis whispered frowning “It’s her dad making her do it, she doesn’t want to be here” Louis answered louder

“Why are you here?” He asked

“Because I have nothing better to do with my life” Louis answered quietly feeling a tear slip down his cheek, mixing with the running water

“That’s what they all say” Harry answered

“Why are you here” Louis muttered

“Easy money” Harry replied easily

“Right” Louis sighed remembering that this was all a job for Harry and he probably had a girlfriend waiting for him outside of work.

”I’m going to go home, have fun with Eleanor” Harry spat and Louis frowned down at the ground, so Harry probably didn’t have a girlfriend but he most certainly had a thing for Eleanor. Louis heard the door close signalling Harry had left the room.  
Louis got out of the shower and put on his clothes looking at himself in the mirror, he looked dreadful, pale and tired.

He walked out of the shower room to hear shouting and frowned as he followed the noise that seemed to becoming from the kitchen, Eleanor and Harry’s voices filling the air, a tense atmosphere surrounding them.

“Don’t be a twat Harry, what the hell is wrong with you?” Eleanor said Loudly and Louis was intrigued wondering if Harry was making a move on her

“All I’m saying is that maybe you shouldn’t be a bitch to him, he was protecting you” Harry replied causing Louis to frown because if that was Harry pulling a move on a girl he wasn’t surprised he’d gotten into gay porn.

“I’m never a bitch to him, why would you think that?” She snapped

“Maybe because he looked ready to kill himself this morning and you were totally unreasonable” Harry responded sounding bitter, Louis frowned realising they were talking about him

“I was not unreasonable, we were both in the wrong okay, why the hell-“ Eleanor retorted

“I don’t even know why he’s with you, all you do-“ Harry said bitterly

“With me?” Eleanor laughed

“What?” Harry replied, Louis walked closer not wanting to interrupt

“You just said with me?” Eleanor snorted

“What? I- Look all I’m saying is you should take it easy on the guy, he looks way to tired for lovers spats however-“ Harry replied

“Oh my god, Harry. You are such a fucking idiot” Eleanor laughed, Louis heard Harry give a confused whimper

“Stop laughing at me” Harry shouted, Louis walked to the doorway to see them by the sink shouting at each other, faces bright red.

“Louis is not and never will be my boyfriend and I can’t believe you’d actually allow yourself to believe that” Eleanor said looking at Harry with disbelief, Louis’ mouth went dry, Harry had believed he and Eleanor were together?

“But you come in together all cosy like” Harry frowned

“Oh my god, he is like my brother, he picks me up on the way to work” Eleanor groaned

“But you were fighting like he was trying to- and you were this morning – and he’s tired and looks ill and-“ Harry stuttered 

“He looks ill you twat, because you” She poked his chest sharply causing Harry to wince and Louis’ heart to drop “disregarded him and told him he was shit”

“I never-“ Harry frowned face going pale

“He was so fucking torn up because you treated him like some kind of fucking stranger-“

“I didn’t m-“ Harry spluttered looking taken aback by the change of subject, the conversation having obviously never crossed over in his mind.

“You’re so fucking blind in your own theories” Eleanor cut him off angrily “That you can’t see what’s right in front of you” Louis wanted to interrupt, stop Eleanor from talking, but he couldn’t he was frozen to the spot and all he could do was watch

“I can” Harry replied with a half pout

“You obviously can’t or you'd not treat someone who thinks so much of you like total shit” She growled poking his chest

“Thinks what?” Harry asked, sounding venerable and small, Louis shook his head begging Eleanor to stop where she was

“He’s so fucking in love with you and you broke his fucking heart” She finished taking a deep breath before her eyes went wide and Louis fell into the side of the door gripping the door knob tightly, face paling and eyes staring as they both spun around to him. 

“Oh shit, Lo-“ Eleanor said looking stunned and yet frantic, Louis managed to get his limbs working and turned on his heels and ran to the front door.


	3. Chapter 3

Louis threw himself into the street and pulled his jumper closer to him, it was freezing but truly he couldn’t care less. Eleanor had told Harry, that was it now, Harry knew and he’d be disgusted.

He walked through the town weaving his way in and out of people, breath falling fast and heavy as he held in the tears he was too strong to allow to fall in public. He was shaking from head to foot and yet it was the only thing he could really feel. He felt numb, like this could be a dream. He really wished it were.

He walked into his flat, dropping his keys on the floor and pulling off his shoes before closing it and pulling the chain across it. He gulped, his throat feeling oddly suffocating.

He stumbled into the kitchen and dropped his head onto the counter as he listened to the kettle beginning to boil.

A minute passed and he poured the water into the mug when knocking soned on his door

“Louis please” Eleanors voice sounded

“Louis” another voice joined in and Louis whimpered and walked back into the counter staring out of the kitchen at his front door

“What the fuck are you doing, go the fuck away” Eleanor shouted “you’re the last person he wants to see”

“Louis please, let me explain” Harry shouted

“Go Away” Louis shouted covering his ears with his hands and sinking to the floor of the kitchen,

“Harry go the fuck home” Eleanor shouted “Louis please let me in”

“I don’t want to talk to you either” Louis cried “Just go away”

“Please-“ Harry’s voice wheezed off and he let out a gasp “What the fuck?”

“I’ll punch you in worse places if you don’t get the fuck out of here” Eleanor growled, Louis squeezed his eyes shut and ran his fingers through his hair pulling at it as he did

“I need to exp- fuck” Harrys voice went high and a thump filled the silence

“oh get the fuck up off the floor you pathetic excuse for a man” Eleanor said before she sighed “Louis please let me in” She said and Louis’ eyes went wide as he heard her put the key in the lock, but the chain stopped it opening more than enough to fit a hand in.

“I don’t w-want to t-talk to either of you, p-please just go” Louis breathed, his lungs catching on his breath making it hard to breathe.

“Okay, I’ll give you space but I’m coming around in the morning Lou, I’m so sorry” She said sounding defeated, Louis stayed quiet and watched the door close and the lock click

“Get the hell up off the floor I didn’t kick you that hard” Eleanor sighed “And just because you know where Louis lives doesn’t give you permission to turn up-“ Eleanors voice drifted off into the distance and Louis slowly pulled himself off the floor and hurried into the bathroom putting the shower onto hot and stripping off his clothes.

He scrubbed his skin, tears mixing with the water as he watched angry red marks from his rough fingernails on his skin. He scrubbed himself again still feeling dirty and cheap before stumbling out of the shower and drying himself off before grabbing his duvet and falling onto the sofa staring at the blank television.

He didn’t sleep much, the odd ten minutes here and there before he jumped awake and silent tears fell down his cheeks. Harry knew, he really knew now and Louis’ life was over. He had no doubt that Harry would be disgusted with him. He just knew it.

The sun rose in the sky and Louis’ attention was drawn to the window as he watched black turn to oranges and pinks before turning into the dull grey of the day. His phone began vibrating and he looked around seeing it on the floor. He grabbed it and sniffed before pressing accept.

“Hello?” He asked groggily trying to keep his eyes open, the sofa was uncomfortable and his neck ached but at least he could feel it, and it wasn’t numb like before.

“Hey Louis, listen big favour, spent all night editing your video and it’s a little bit too short, so would you mind coming in again today to film a little bit more?” Pauls voice filled his brain, as soon as he said it Louis was wide awake and feeling like he could throw up

“what?” He asked his heart dropping and his leg beginning to shake up and down. He gripped the seat tightly

“We need you and Harry to film another scene” Paul said “It should only take about an hour, if you could pop by in an hour?” he asked

“right, sure” Louis muttered numbly

“Thanks Louis, see you” the phone line went dead and Louis dropped the phone. It slid somewhere down the side of the sofa and he didn’t bother trying to get it. His lungs felt heavy and his brain felt empty.

He stood up slowly, he could do it, it was work. He’d go in, do it and then get out before Harry could talk to him. He walked to his shower and scrubbed himself down for what felt like the hundredth time and washed his teeth before he walked out of his bathroom and into his bedroom grabbing his sweats and a jumper because he didn’t feel like dressing up at all today. He put them on slowly and walked to the door, grabbing his keys but not bothering to find his phone. He locked the door and walked out of his apartment into the busy street.

He walked slowly to the office and walked up the stairs with dread filling him wondering who’d be there already, if he’d be able to actually do this without crying and running out.

He walked past the kitchen not bothering to look in and into the shower block where he numbly took a bottle of lube and opened himself up, putting a robe on when he felt he was acceptably prepared.

He walked slowly into the set room only to be met with Lou sitting by the make up chair, she looked up and she gasped before standing up and hurrying over to him.

“Louis, oh god” She said pulling him over to the make up seat and sitting him down gently “What’s bothering you?” She questioned putting concealer under Louis’ eyes immediately

“I’d rather not talk about it” He said, his voice weak and croaky. She gave him a small smile and nodded as she gently blended the make up, Louis watched her working through the mirror, watching as the dark circles underneath slowly disappeared and his face looked less pale.

“Sorry about this” Paul said walking into the room and spotting Louis “I thought we had enough yesterday but I was mistaken”

“S’okay” Louis nodded scrunching up his nose as Lou put powder over his face. The door opened and Louis’ breathed in watching and releasing a breath as Nick walked in camera in tow.

Lou tapped his shoulder and nodded so he stood up and walked off to stand at the side of the set playing with the strings of his robe as he watched the door. Paul was directing Nick with the camera as Lou cleaned her brushes. Louis looked down as the door opened and closed gently.

“What is this, the walking Zombie epidemic?” Lou asked and Louis looked up with his face pointed at the ground to see Harry with tired eyes, bags visible under them, he sat down in the make up chair and Louis looked away trying to pull himself into a frame of mind where he wasn’t in the room. 

“So for today’s shoot” Paul said and Louis looked up at him slowly “We’ll go doggy if that’s alight with you” He said, Louis’ nodded and looked back down wrapping the tie around his hand as he thanked the skies that he wouldn’t have to be staring at Harry for the whole time.

“Right, Louis come back, I need to put more concealer on your eyes” Lou said, Louis looked over at her and watched Harry walk away from the station and looked away as Harry looked over at him. He sat down on Lou’s chair and sighed as she tilted his head up and applied a second layer

“Anyone would think you hadn’t slept in weeks” She said, Louis stayed silent and let her finish what she was doing before he stood up and walked to the side of the set again

“right, if you get onto the bed” Paul said, Louis could practically feel the tension in the air no one seemed sure of anything and Louis just wanted to get it over with so he could get home.

He took off his robe and walked to the bed, kneeling on it and looking at Paul as Harry sat on the edge of the bed robeless and looking around

“right, go on then” Paul said and Nick walked around to all the cameras tuning them on as Harry looked at Louis and licked his lips before taking a deep breath and crawling over to him, Louis count to five an let out a deep breath, he’d spent four years of his life wanting to be an actor and now was his time to shine.

”Louis, I-“ Harry whispered as he stopped in front of Louis, but Louis shook his head

“Just get on with it would you” He replied, Harry sighed and looked at Paul

“would you like it to lead on from a certain point?” Harry asked and Louis bit his lip as he watched on

“Yesterdays position, do that before changing so we can edit in well and then after a few minutes return to the previous position and we’ll work from there” Paul said

“I had the best wank yesterday thanks to you two” Nick grinned

“Nick!” Paul groaned

“What? I did. This shoot will be gold” He shrugged before readjusting the camera. Harry tuned back to Louis and opened his mouth but Louis lay down on the bed knowing that’s what Harry was about to say.

Harry licked his lips looking at Louis almost nervously and Louis looked away from him feeling that things couldn’t get more awkward.

He heard a lube bottle being opened and took and deep breath and bent his knees willing the slight burn behind his eyes to leave because he was not going to cry. He wasn’t.

Harry leant over him and Louis shuddered eyes catching Harrys for a moment before he closed them and felt Harry gently lift his legs over his shoulders

“M’sorry” Harry whispered before pushing into Louis and Louis’ heart seemed to skip a beat and wilt at the same time. Harrys hands trailed up Louis’ sides and Louis could feel his eyes welling up, he opened them and caught Harry watching him looking sad.

“Right, lets start then, it’s the same position as yesterday good job lads, now Harry thrust into Louis for say thirty seconds before turning him around” Paul said sounding a little more happy, Louis wished he was Happy as he kept his eyes locked on Harrys as if neither of them could look away. “Oh and both of you, try not to come too soon” He said

Harry started to move his hips Louis could felt the drag, and he hated to admit it felt good, Harry being inside him. He continued to stare blankly at Harry knowing the cameras weren’t focused on their faces at the moment.

Harry bit his lip and his hands cupped Louis’ neck as he closed his eyes and leant down to rest his forehead against Louis’ and Louis closed his eyes wondering if Harry was maybe trying to make him feel good to give Louis something to remember him by, one last thing before he walked off to never talk to him again.

Harry pulled his head back up and kissed Louis’ forehead so softly Louis almost could fall asleep on the bed, but he opened his eyes and watched as Harry pulled out of him. He felt empty immediately and so when Harry pulled him into a sitting position Louis gulped and turned onto his hands and knees.

Harry leant over him, body flush against Louis and he placed his hand over Louis’ putting his fingers between Louis’, he almost wished Harry wasn’t being intimate, that he’d just fuck Louis and leave and let Louis hate himself in peace.

Harry used his spare hand to guide himself into Louis before linking that hand with Louis’ other, Louis hung his head as Harry began thrusting into him, breath catching with every one because this angle was amazing even in his shit mood.

Louis could feel Harrys breath by his ear and he shut his eyes panting as Harrys hips snapped into him, on one thrust Louis pushed back and pleasure rippled through him making his arms shake and both he and Harry let out stuttery moans, Harrys grip on his hands tightening as Louis continued to push back into Harrys thrusts.

He could feel th build up already and Louis moaned into the top of his arm wondering exactly what it was about Harry that made him loose control so easily, Harry kissed along Louis neck hovering over his ear

“Louis” He whispered barely above a breath “let me fix this”

Louis gulped, he didn’t know what Harry was talking about but he could feel his orgasm building up fast and he hadn’t so much as touched himself

“Shit” Harry stuttered as he stilled above Louis

“You’re kidding right?” Paul groaned “What is it with you two, you’re never usally like this. It there wasn’t so much chemistry between you when you’re together I’d be angry” He said, Harry dropped his head onto Louis shoulder breath catching every time he moved in the slightest

“Right, tell you what, we’ll get a shot of you rolling Louis over Harry” Paul said and Louis clenched around Harry causing him to hiss and Louis felt an odd sense of pride which was rather stupid he thought but the way Harrys hands tightened over Louis’ was quite thrilling

“Then I want you on your sides facing each other, do that for a bit, you should be able to last longer in that position, then again with you two who knows. Then go back to the starting position and you can come then” Paul said, Louis heard Harry gulp and thrust into Louis a few times before pulling out and leaning away, hands leaving Louis.

Louis turned to sit and looked at Harry who watched him before pushing him down onto the bed body crowding over him and pressing his lips firmly against Louis’ taking Louis by surprise, Harry then leaned away and breathed deeply before lining himself up and pushing into Louis as Louis continued to watch Harrys face, there hadn’t been any need to have kissed him, they could have gone all take without it.

Louis wrapped his legs around Harry before Harry rolled them onto their sides and Louis continued to stare at Harry as Harry slowly thrust into him, eyes locked on Louis’

Why Louis wanted to ask him, why was he so damn beautiful, why did he have to wor for the same company as Louis, why did Louis have to love him so much it hurt? He broke the eye contact and dropped his head into Harrys shoulder, eyes burning again because this was it, after this last bit of filming they’d part ways never to be so close again. It was for the best though; Louis didn’t want to fool himself anymore.

Harrys arms tightened around him and he thrust into him with long strokes that sent tingles down Louis spine, he could feel his orgasm still waiting to be released and he bit into Harrys neck as Harry hit his prostate.

“Really not gunna last long” Harry wheezed, Louis ran his hands up Harrys back and into his hair feeling his own coming quite quickly, his cock getting friction from Harrys stomach.

Harrys legs began to shake and So Louis rolled over so Harry was on top of him and ran his hands down Harrys back putting his feet flat on the bed as Harry buried his head into Louis’ shoulder and bit down causing Louis to throw his head back and moan as he came, rather unexpectedly between them shuddering as Harry shallowly thust into Louis to see him through his orgasm before pulling out of him and coming over Louis straight away Louis’ arms shaking as they held onto Harry

“Cut” Paul called, Harry and Louis didn’t move, both panting heavily “Well there’s enough footage to finish the video” Paul said as Harry finally managed to sit up in the bed, Louis dropped his arms from him and caught the towel Nick threw at him, wiping the come off his stomach. He didn’t dare look at Harry, he didn’t want to see the rejection.

“I need to talk to you” Harry muttered “Quite important”

“I-I” Louis stuttered as Nick threw their robes at them, he sat up eyes looking at the bed as he pulled the robe on “Sorry” He muttered before scampering off the bed and hurrying out of the room hearing Harry get up from the bed too,

“Louis” Harry called out, Louis hurried into the shower room and grabbed his clothes throwing the robe into the laundry as he pulled on his sweats and jumper as fast as possible, The door opened and Harry walked in

“Louis please” Harry said walking up to him, Louis stepped around him and walked out of the door hearing Harry swear and a bit of scuffling as he walked past the kitchen and out of the building towards his appartement.

“Louis” He heard Harry yell in the distance and he walked slightly faster not turning around.

“Please hear me out, Louis” Harry begged, Louis walked even faster trying to get as far away from Harry before he let anything else out. He wouldn’t let himself get hurt like he knew he would, he wanted so bad to get home, scrub himself raw in the shower, lie down on the sofa and turn on something he’d not watch as he cried himself into a deep sleep. Preferably one he’d never wake up from.

He also decided he’d resign, living on the streets was a far more pleasant thought than continuing on in the way he was going, he was so past done.

“Louis” Harry whined from so close to him that Louis jumped and tried to set off at a run only to find arms were wrapped around his waist preventing him from doing anything, his first thought was to shout and scream, but no-one would do much. His other was to kick and move but he was so weak from having no sleep. 

So without knowing what else to do, his body seemed to shut down and he went limp. Harry gasped and grabbed onto him tighter pulling him into his chest as Louis body shook from sobs he didn’t want to let out.

Louis tried to curl up into himself as he squeezed his eyes closed, he could just about feel Harrys hand running up and down his arm, he could almost feel Harrys heart beat pick up as Harry pulled him into his arms chest to chest.

“shh, shh” Harry was whispering and Louis wanted to block it out, he wanted to be alone, wanted to curl up on his sofa and not confront anything “I’ve broken you, I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry” Harry was muttering over and over again and Louis could feel warm drops on his hand, he couldn’t hold it in anymore. It felt like he was choking, that he was drowning in his feelings. He let out a painful sob and with it his whole body seemed to explode and with it the built up feelings. He clawed at his sleeves as sobs shook his body. Harry rocked them back and forth in silence.

Surprisingly the motion was rather calming, the gentle too and fro which seemed to help his breathing, too, breath in, fro, release. His cheeks were soaked, his head pounding and he was sure people were looking at him as they walked past.

“’m sorry, ‘m sorry” Harry was muttering into Louis’ hair not letting up on the too’s and fro’s. Louis’ sobs died down, his throat felt like it was on fire and it was so hard to breath completely. Each time he breathed in his lungs burnt and each time he breathed out he didn’t want to breathe back in.

Louis hand instead of clutching his arm grabbed onto Harrys jumper holding him there because however much he wanted to go home and be alone, he also wanted the universe where he and Harry could be happily together to be a reality. He was definitely delirious, he decided.

“Let’s get you home” Harry whispered into Louis’ hair and Louis nodded sniffing into Harrys jumper which was soaked, Louis didn’t move however, he wasn’t sure he could. He was weak, tired and he hadn’t eaten in what felt like days.

Harry seemed to understand because next thing Louis knew the tooing and froing was stopping and he was being lifted up. He kept his eyes closed as his head lolled onto Harry’s shoulder.

In his half conscious state he decided two things, Harry was extremely strong, and also that he smelt a lot like apples. 

“You okay?” Harry asked slowly and Louis really wanted to laugh, tell him exactly what he was feeling but he couldn’t and instead made a noise to let Harry know he’d been heard but his thoat was sore and he really needed a drink.

The noise of the street faded slightly so Louis assumed Harry was now inside the flat complex. He was proven correct when he felt Harry walking up the stairs trying to be as careful as possible.

Louis blindly fumbled in his pocket for his keys, hands weak and shaking. When Harry stopped Louis lifted his hand slightly and Harry carefully let Louis go with one arm as he unlocked the door.

“Oh god Louis, I’ve been so worried, I came on over and you weren’t here and if I hadn’t have called Nick I wouldn’t have known, I’m so sorry about yesterday so, so sorry I wasn’t thinking so look I’ve made you some tea and I hope you-“ Eleanor was rambling as Harry carried him over to the sofa, He was laid onto it gently and he listened as Eleanor walked into the room she stopped talking and a crash filled the room, Louis frowned into the sofa knowing she’d dropped the tea “-oh Lou” she said hurrying over to him. He opened his eyes, blinking away the dried up tears and gulped as his eyes drifted slowly to Harry who was hurrying to the pile of broken mugs and soaked carpet

“I-“ Louis managed, but his throat was sore and felt like it were made of sandpaper, his head was thumping like someone was drilling his head and he really hated the thought of carpenters right now because his heart was hurting like someone was nailing it in with a hammer.

“Shh, I’ll get you water instead” She said pushing his hair from his eyes and getting up, slapping Harry over the head as she passed him, he didn’t reply and instead stood up following her into the kitchen carrying the broken cups as he went.

Louis could hear them whispering and used all the strength he could muster to push himself from the sofa and over towards the kitchen, leaning on the wall for support

“So you what, chased him home?” Eleanor asked

“Sort of, but I just wanted to talk to him” Harry replied, the bin sounded and Louis rubbed his eyes tiredly

“It’s obvious he doesn’t want to talk to you” Eleanor snapped

“He said he didn’t want to talk to you but you’re still in his apartment” Harry replied coldly, Eleanor sighed and Louis heard the tap run. He rolled his neck and closed his eyes trying to distract himself from the dull throbbing.

“I’m his best friend, I-“

“You may be his best friend, but you said yourself that it was my fault he’s like this and I was trying to talk to him to make it better”

“You’re an idiot if you think you can talk to him and make things better, what the hell makes you thinks things will be happy sailing if you talk to him?”

“I didn’t think that it would be, I wanted to tell him this has all been one big fuck up of miscommunication”

“I think it’s best if you leave it” Eleanor told him, Louis frowned and sank to the floor pulling his knees to his chin.

“I can’t leave it after you told me that” Harry growled

“I can’t see Louis get anymore hurt, he’s not strong enough no matter how he lets on”

“I don’t want to hurt him I want to explain”

“Explain what? How you told him ho shit he was the other day and he spent all night crying, or how when you’d finished with him you smacked his arse before leaving him stood there feeling like a-“

“Oh god, no that’s-“

“Because Harry, you’ve hurt him so much already and I’m not going to stand back and let you-“ Eleanor stated

“You don’t understand” Harry whimpered

“You have two minutes to explain it to me then” Eleanor snapped and Louis looked around the door frame to see her lean against the counter crossing her arms watching Harry, Louis leant his head back against the wall and breathed deeply

“I thought he was with you, I thought you two were a thing and I was so confused, I’d see you two together all the time and it fucking hurt at first because the first time I saw him I swear to god the first thing that went through my mind was chorus’ of angels singing, I thought he was straight and doing the job for money, it never crossed my mind that he wasn’t. I just – he’s so fucking amazing in everyway and so I blocked it out trying to stop myself from getting hurt and if I had of known I – god I’m such an idiot” 

“is that-“ Eleanor paused and cleared her throat and Louis was sure his own heart had stopped beating and he wasn’t sure if he was breathing either “is that true?”

“Yes” Harry choked, Louis heart gave a stuttered beat as he heard sniffling followed by a few choked sobs “I never thought he’d ever- ever go for someone like me even if there was a chance he wasn’t with you” Harry continued. Louis let out a stuttery breath before picking himself off the floor and shakily walking into the bathroom.

He heard another glass break and further sobs as he looked into the mirror and ran the tap before soaking his face in water and looking back up as it dripped off his chin, his face was a little pale and his eyes were a bit red but all in all he looked a little better than he’d thought he would look, probably the remainder of the make up he was wearing. He cupped his hands and filled them with water chugging it down knowing Eleanor bringing one was a long time coming.

He let out a breath as he looked in the mirror and decided it was now or never. He was going to go and talk to Harry now and sort this misunderstanding out. He waked out of the bathroom, his legs still feeling like jelly as he walked into the kitchen. The scene reminded Louis of how he was curled into Harrys chest, only Harry was so much bigger than Eleanor, had it been any other situation Louis may even have chuckled.

Eleanor looked up at him and froze, tensing a little as she looked over at him

“I- he- um” She stuttered, Louis nodded and she seemed to relax a little, Harry however had gone completely tense and looked over at him out of the corner of his eyes, which were red and wet.

“Could you give us a minute?” Louis asked looking back at Eleanor. His throat was raw even after the water and he cleared his throat painfully, Eleanor nodded before prying Harry off her and hurrying out of the room.

Harry looked down at the ground as he straightened up and wrapped his arms around himself. Louis gulped and began to play with the hem of his jumper looking at anything and everything that wasn’t Harry.

“I- I um heard w-what you said to Eleanor” Louis muttered quietly

"you did?” Harry asked looking up from the floor

“mhmm” Louis gulped “Is it true?” he asked now looking over at Harry

“I – yeah” Harry nodded lifting an arm to wipe his eyes on his sleeve. Louis licked his dried lips and nodded slowly

“I don’t know how you could ever think I was straight” Louis managed to choke out past his throat that seemed to be swelling as he kept his eyes locked with Harrys. Harry bit his lip and looked down before looking back at Louis

“Just thought you might be a b-bit camp s’all” Harry muttered

“I thought you were straight too” Louis frowned

“Why?” Harry asked frowning too, Louis scratched the back of his neck

“’cause I thought you hated me and” Louis bit his lip his cheeks heating slightly “thought you fancied Eleanor if I’m honest”

“boys” Eleanor sighed from the other side of the wall, Louis didn’t call her out on it and instead looked at Harry who was looking at him with disbelief written across his face

“You thought I liked Eleanor?” Harry repeated slowly

“Shut up, you thought I was in a relationship with her!” Louis rolled his eyes, Harry smiled softly before looking down again, his smile vanishing.

“You say it like it’s a bad thing to be in a relationship with me?” Eleanor said looking around the door, Louis turned to her and raised his eyebrows.

“well it would be, you have boobs” Louis said, Harry gave an odd noise between a laugh and a cough.

“Honestly, how the hell could you have thought he was anything but gay?”

“To be honest I think I let my imagination go away with it” Harry shrugged, Louis bit his lip and played with the hem of his jumper again. Eleanor sighed and walked over to Harry and pushed him towards Louis, who gulped and looked at her

“Take it into the living room, kiss and make up, put everything behind you, start afresh and I’ll make us all a cup of tea” Eleanor said pushing them both out of the kitchen

“If you smash something else so help me I’ll-“ Louis began but stopped as the door closed in his face. He bit his lip and turned to Harry who was already looking at him, Louis was faintly aware of how shit he looked when Harry was suddenly in his personal space arms winding themselves around Louis’ waist as his head dropped onto Louis’ shoulder.

Louis’ breath hitched and slowly he wrapped his arms around Harrys shoulders and buried his head into Harrys neck as Harry swayed them, breath hitting Louis’ neck and making him shiver.

It was just a hug and yet Louis felt his heart soar he could almost feel the pieces fitting themselves back together slowly but surely.

“’m sorry” Harry muttered into him, Louis just hugged him tighter as they swayed to their hearts pounding between them. 

“me too” Louis sighed

“you haven’t done anything though, I handled everything so, so wrong” Harry said, voice muffled into Louis’ jumper “then yesterday when Eleanor said that in the kitchen, and you were there and you ran, god Louis I just- I tried to run after you but I had no idea where you lived and I’m such a horrible person” he was shaking his head and Louis could feel his tears on his neck

“I thought you were a dick, I hated myself so much for liking you. But, seeing you like this, hearing your side of things, I judged you and maybe if I hadn’t things would have been different, that’s why I’m sorry” Louis sniffed his eyes welling up with tears.

“How about we start out fresh, like Eleanor said, put everything into the past and – and start over?” Harry asked, still into Louis’ neck

“I’d say that’s a good idea” Louis nodded, Harry pulled away from him and shuffled out of the front door without looking back and Louis frowned and wiped his eyes. He gulped and looked at the kitchen door, which was still shut.

“um” He said to himself, completely confused with Todays events. The door bell rang and Louis frowned wiping his eyes again and running his hand through his hair. He walked over to the door and opened it. Harry was leaning against the door frame with a hopeful smile

“You’re an idiot”

“You don’t even know me” Harry smiled “Can I come in?” 

“I don’t even know you” Louis challenged back

“damn it” Harry cursed pouting “Touche I guess” he frowned playfully at the floor, Louis smiled and shook his head smiling as Harry looked up again “’m Harry”

“right, Louis” Louis said rolling his eyes, His head still ached and his eyes still stung but he was feeling calm, almost Happy which he hadn’t felt in a while, he mostly felt relieved that everything had been spoken through, everyone knew where everyone stood now.

“I live two buildings that way” Harry said pointing left and smiling and Louis was shocked, he’d never known that “moved in two years ago and wanted to meet the neighbours”

“you really are an idiot, just come in” Louis rolled his eyes walking into his flat and falling onto his sofa leaning his back against the back of the chair and sighing, his cup of tea would be nice about now.

“Nice place you have, I didn’t really look around before” Harry said as he lowered himself onto the sofa next to Louis

“What do you mean before, this is the first time in my place” Louis smirked at the ceiling

“right” Harry said “So-“ Just as he began the door opened and Eleanor walked in with a tray of tea in her hands.

“Harry, this is my servant Eleanor” Louis said “We are in no way in a relationship, end of. Now give me my tea” Louis pouted making grabby hands at Eleanor who rolled her eyes and sat down without questioning them, the tray on the coffee table.

Louis grabbed his mug and took a gulp before sinking back into the sofa with a sigh feeling it sooth his throat. He looked at Harry who was sipping his tea looking at Louis and then back at his tea. The whole flat suddenly felt awkward and Louis felt slightly nervous too.

“I’m going to go now, see you soon Lou” Eleanor broke the silence as she put her half drunk cup of tea on the table and hurried out of the flat closing the door as she went.

“Would you want to go on a date with me?” Harry said stumbling over his words, the fastest he’d ever seemed to have spoken before. Louis’ heart seemed to fly into his throat and his breath caught for a second as he took in Harry’s nervous posture, eyes flicking down to where his hands gripped onto the mug a little too tightly.

“yes” Louis replied because Harrys posture only showed Louis that Harry was being honest about this, so Louis put everything aside and bit his lip as his face broke out into a grin, Harry sighed and smiled at Louis, his cheeks looking a far lot pinker than they had before

“Are you free on Saturday?” Harry asked looking hopeful. Louis’ felt a wave of nerves hit him as he thought about spending a day alone with Harry but he nodded all the same.


End file.
